To Diverge or Not to Diverge: Inside the Burnout of the Misfit Mind

Burning Out While Trying to “Fit In”

For neurodivergent individuals, "fitting in" can feel like a full-time job—one that often leads to burnout. And I don’t mean fitting in the traditional way. I mean the kind of fitting in where catching up feels monumental. I mean complying with societal norms. I cannot explain how much energy it takes me to not interrupt in meetings, to not storm out (I've done it more times than I care to admit—and no, I'm not proud), to not get angry when simple things don’t get across, and to not scrap everything just because I can already see a better solution.

In trying to meet neurotypical expectations, neurodivergent people frequently overexert themselves, experience chronic stress, and eventually burn out. This post examines current research on ADHD and burnout in academic and professional settings, highlights the major gaps in understanding and policy, and shares lived experiences that reveal how traits of neurodivergence are often misinterpreted as laziness, lack of discipline, or poor performance.

ADHD in Academic Settings – The Invisible Struggle

In universities and schools, students with ADHD face significant challenges that often go unseen. Research shows that these students exert "untold effort just to earn average grades" (Green & Rabiner, 2012). They may need to reread passages several times to absorb information, spend significantly longer on assignments due to focus and organisational challenges, and frequently struggle to complete exams in the allotted time (Weyandt et al., 2013).

Despite this, ADHD students tend to report lower academic satisfaction and performance. A study of 751 Brazilian students found that ADHD symptoms—especially inattentiveness—were positively correlated with emotional exhaustion and cynicism toward school and negatively correlated with academic efficacy. In other words, the more intense the ADHD symptoms, the more drained and ineffective students felt.

Looking back, I remember hating school with a passion. I used to promise myself that once I got through high school and a bachelor's degree, I would never study again. Dramatic? Sure. But here I am now, craving research, studies, and insight, with not enough hours in the day. The system didn’t inspire me—it made me rebel. For many neurodivergent students, especially teens who struggle with emotional regulation, school becomes a battlefield. And neurologically speaking, ADHD is marked by delayed development of the prefrontal cortex—responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and working memory. No wonder the dramatics carried on well into adulthood.

Many students describe constantly feeling like they’re "playing catch-up". They appear disorganised to professors, when they’re actually mentally exhausted from self-monitoring every second—double-checking instructions, dragging their minds back on task every few minutes, and living in anxiety about underperformance. This relentless vigilance leads to classic burnout symptoms: fatigue, detachment, and a diminished sense of achievement.

Because this struggle is often invisible, educators interpret it as poor effort or disinterest. One of the most harmful misconceptions in academia is that neurodivergent students "just need to try harder," when in reality they’re already working harder than anyone just to stay afloat (Green & Rabiner, 2012). And while studies quantify the stress link, we still lack qualitative research that truly captures the daily emotional toll and cognitive labour neurodivergent students endure.

ADHD in the Workplace – Masking and Exceeding Limits

The same burdens are carried into the workforce. Now add deadlines, office politics, performance reviews, and the demand to always be "on." Adults with ADHD are more likely to underperform at work, report higher stress levels, and take more sick leave than neurotypical colleagues (de Graaf et al., 2008; Kessler et al., 2009; Friedrichs et al., 2012, as cited in Oscarsson et al., 2022).

Burnout often comes from overcompensation. An ADHD employee might procrastinate because of executive dysfunction, then binge-work for 48 hours to meet a deadline- HELLO! (I've once spent 48 hours on a construction site without sleep... ) If they struggle with boundaries and impulsively say yes to extra work, they end up overloaded. Rogers et al. (2017) found that ADHD adults in comparable roles report significantly higher fatigue than neurotypical peers—same output, greater internal cost.

Interviews from Sedgwick, Merwood, and Asherson (2019) with "successful" ADHD adults show that even those thriving professionally use elaborate coping mechanisms, but often still feel they’re barely holding it together. One participant said, "I never let anyone see me sweat." They’d quietly double-check work and use humour to cover gaps in focus—classic masking behaviour.

Masking is suppressing your natural traits to appear neurotypical. For ADHD individuals, it might mean scripting conversations, faking eye contact, or pretending to take notes when you're really doodling to stay focused. Over time, this erodes your psychological reserves. And though masking is widely studied in autism, it remains vastly under-researched in ADHD contexts (Yuen et al., 2019).

Gaps in Literature and Policy

Despite the mounting evidence, ADHD burnout is still underexplored. Most ADHD research has focused on children, not adults navigating real-life systems. Only recently have studies like Oscarsson et al. (2022) begun investigating adult work experiences. There’s also a lack of longitudinal research—what interventions actually reduce burnout over time? We don’t know.

Policy-wise, ADHD qualifies as a disability under many frameworks (e.g., ADA in the U.S., Equality Act in the U.K.). But protections depend on disclosure, and two-thirds of neurodivergent employees don’t disclose due to stigma (Waisman Center, 2022). Those who do often don’t know what support to ask for. Most accommodations are reactive—extra time, quiet space—not proactive design.

And let’s be honest: many companies have neurodiversity hiring initiatives, but few offer the structural inclusion needed to retain and support those hires.

Even worse, lived experience has historically been dismissed. An ADHD worker describing sensory overload in an open office, or a student breaking down after one too many missed cues, is often considered "anecdotal." But these narratives highlight what numbers miss. Participatory research and stakeholder-driven design are essential—and still rare (Doyle, 2020).

Misunderstood as Underperformance

Perhaps the most heartbreaking consequence of this disconnect is how often ADHD traits are interpreted as flaws. Forgetting an assignment? Must be lazy. Late to meetings? Irresponsible. Constantly distracted? Disengaged or straight up 'RUDE'. In reality, it's time-blindness, working memory issues, sensory overload.

These misunderstandings result in critical feedback that chips away at self-worth. Over time, you internalise the labels: "scatter-brained," "flaky," "not serious enough." The Oscarsson et al. (2022) study showed many participants felt chronically "not good enough"—a direct driver of mental exhaustion and burnout. I have developed the bad habit to state up front 'I'm just stupid' just so I get excluded from conversations.

And most managers and teachers aren't trained to respond differently. Without neurodiversity education, even well-meaning feedback can be damaging. It's not enough to hire neurodivergent talent. We need ongoing awareness, redesign, and support.

Looking Forward

Burnout from "trying to fit in" is a lived reality for countless neurodivergent people. The systems—academic, corporate, institutional—aren’t just outdated. They’re inhospitable by design.

But naming the issue is the first step to changing it. In Part 3, I’ll pivot toward the solution space: how to design for divergence. I’ll look at work and learning environments that centre neurodiversity by default—not by exception.

Let’s rewire together.

References

Green, A. L., & Rabiner, D. L. (2012). ADHD in higher education: Double the effort, half the reward (Report). Duke University.

Sedgwick, J. A., Merwood, A., & Asherson, P. (2019). The positive aspects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a qualitative investigation of successful adults with ADHD. ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 11(3), 241–253. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12402-018-0277-6

Oscarsson, M., et al. (2022). Stress and work-related mental illness among working adults with ADHD: a qualitative study. BMC Psychiatry, 22, 751. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-022-04409-w

Doyle, N. (2020). Neurodiversity at work: a biopsychosocial model and the impact on working adults. British Medical Bulletin, 135(1), 108–125. https://doi.org/10.1093/bmb/ldaa021

Waisman Center. (2022). Workplace disclosure of neurodivergence: A study on stigma and employment outcomes. University of Wisconsin–Madison.

Yuen, J. W., et al. (2019). The experience of autism spectrum disorder and mental health conditions: a meta-synthesis of qualitative studies. Autism, 23(5), 1175–1190. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361318791272

Rogers, M., et al. (2017). (As cited in Oscarsson et al., 2022)

de Graaf, R., et al. (2008). (As cited in Oscarsson et al., 2022)

Kessler, R. C., et al. (2009). (As cited in Oscarsson et al., 2022)

Friedrichs, B., et al. (2012). (As cited in Oscarsson et al., 2022)