Unwiring Identity: Why Your Job May Not Be Your Purpose

When we speak about "purpose," we often equate it exclusively with our careers or a sense of vocational calling. Yet, purpose encompasses far more—it's a deeper alignment that can manifest within and beyond our professional lives. Despite knowing this intellectually through my own spiritual journey, there came a pivotal point in my career where I felt compelled to shift directions, away from a professional identity that had become deeply entwined with my self-worth. I remember the moment clearly when I felt to my core I was done with that path – but I continued for over 2 years because I couldn’t fathom who I would be without that. I had a hunch but no actionable plan or way to move away, at least not yet.

So why does our work so profoundly shape our identity?

Work and Identity: The Science of Professional Self-Concept

The connection between identity and professional roles isn't merely societal conditioning—it’s deeply embedded in brain function. Studies indicate that our self-concept—our understanding of who we are—is shaped significantly by repetitive activities and daily roles, notably our professions (Dutton, Roberts, & Bednar, 2010). Occupational identities activate neural pathways associated with reward, social acceptance, and personal achievement (Ashforth & Schinoff, 2016). This reinforces our reliance on professional success to feel a sense of self-worth and belonging.

Research using fMRI scans reveals that work-related success stimulates the same regions associated with reward and pleasure—the ventral striatum and medial prefrontal cortex—making professional achievements emotionally addictive (Utevsky, Smith, & Huettel, 2014). Conversely, threats to professional identity trigger areas responsible for pain and social rejection, notably the anterior cingulate cortex (Eisenberger, 2012).

In short, our brains literally reward us for aligning our identity closely with our jobs—this is why we feel genuine emotional distress when contemplating change or facing career-related setbacks.

My identity crisis

My personal turning point came amid severe burnout. When my career turned excessively commercial and politically charged, the values I once held dear felt compromised, triggering a profound identity crisis. This experience aligns with research on burnout, which shows a clear relationship between identity conflicts, emotional exhaustion, and depersonalisation (Leiter & Maslach, 2016).

This identity crisis was intensified by cognitive dissonance—a state of mental discomfort occurring when our actions or beliefs clash with our core identity (Festinger, 1957). Professionally, cognitive dissonance manifests when we realise the job we do conflicts fundamentally with who we believe ourselves to be or wish to become. I lived in this discomfort for quite some time which added unnecessary pressure to my nervous system. Perhaps I would have been better off not doing anything at all in hindsight but it’s easy to advise as an observer.

Undoing the Conditioning: Spirituality, Resistance, and the Science of Change

At first, I thought tackling my identity crisis would be a peaceful, spiritually-infused weekend—or two; I have integrated spirituality throughout my whole life after all so a few refresher retreats should do the trick right? Little did I know, genuine self-discovery after institutionalisation doesn't roll out neatly like a yoga mat—it’s tangled, messy, and stubbornly resistant. Turns out, years of repeating the same stories about who I was and what I did had hardened into mental concrete, making new possibilities feel absurdly difficult to embrace (Draganski et al., 2004).

Every time I peeled back another layer of resistance, it felt like pulling teeth—my brain clinging fiercely to that comfortable professional identity I'd meticulously constructed. Shifting away from that wasn't as simple as lighting a candle and meditating my way into bliss; it required continuous effort, relentless patience, and repeatedly facing the discomfort I so desperately wanted to avoid (Doidge, 2007).

In truth, it was only when I threw my hands up, stopped fighting myself, and accepted the uncomfortable uncertainty—fully surrendering instead of planning my "transformation"—that the real clarity finally had room to sneak in. I need to emphasise I raised my hands because I could not simply stand how I felt that internal fight tearing at me was just soul sucking.

Common Myths and Limiting Beliefs: Cognitive Biases Against Change

Throughout this journey, I confronted common myths designed to protect the status quo:

• "It’s too late to start a new path—I’ll wait for retirement."

• "I'm just having a mid-life crisis; it'll pass."

• "My passion can't financially sustain me."

• "I'm too old to change careers."

These narratives represent cognitive biases—specifically, the status quo bias, which favours existing conditions over beneficial but uncertain changes (Samuelson & Zeckhauser, 1988). We always prefer known discomforts to unknown possibilities, even when logically the change promises greater satisfaction (Kahneman, Knetsch, & Thaler, 1991).

Chasing Credentials: Hyperachievement as a Coping Mechanism

When I first decided to shift gears and explore psychology and neuroscience, I convinced myself I needed to collect credentials like they were Pokémon cards—each qualification another badge proving my worthiness. Driven less by genuine curiosity and more by an anxious whisper of inadequacy, I raced from one course to another, hoping each new certification would quiet the internal doubt. This relentless pursuit, known as hyperachievement, often emerges as a desperate attempt to reclaim lost identity and gain validation from a world that rewards external milestones over internal satisfaction (Hamachek, 1978).

At some point, amidst the endless accumulation, I paused long enough to ask myself the uncomfortable question: Was I genuinely enjoying this journey, or was I simply chasing yet another scripted notion of who I "should" be? I noticed an unsettling familiarity—echoes from my corporate days—where my value felt directly tied to my title, my achievements, and how quickly I climbed ladders. The realisation was jarring; I'd unknowingly replaced one form of conditioned validation with another.

The irony wasn't lost on me: I'd left one exhausting identity behind only to rebuild a different version of the same thing—just with a more impressive resume and a longer list of credentials. I started wondering whether the satisfaction I sought existed beyond external approval, beyond ticking off boxes, and beyond chasing after societal definitions of success.

Perhaps true fulfilment wasn't something I could earn through achievement, but something quieter and far more personal—something rooted in genuine curiosity and the courage to pursue what truly resonated with me.

Redefining Fulfilment Beyond the "Niche" and the Illusion of New Ladders

Throughout my professional journey, I've repeatedly been advised to find my niche—to specialise narrowly and deeply. However, the very notion of narrowing my interests contradicts the essence of who I am. My passion thrives at the intersection of disciplines, where ideas and concepts intertwine, creating something more innovative and fulfilling. The literature supports this intuition, demonstrating that boundary-spanning approaches fuel greater creativity, problem-solving ability, and ultimately, deeper professional satisfaction (Page, 2007).

Yet, despite my excitement about leaving the rigid corporate ladder behind for the perceived openness of academia, I soon found myself trapped in a strikingly similar cycle. The relentless hustle, intense competition, and persistent anxiety about falling behind were all too familiar. Initially optimistic about finding genuine intellectual freedom, I discovered that academia, too, operates on a performance treadmill—another ladder masquerading as "new" but perpetuating the same relentless pursuit of external validation (Acker & Armenti, 2004).

My experience has taught me that true fulfilment doesn't lie in chasing external milestones, niche specialisations, or institutional ladders. Instead, it's about engaging authentically with meaningful, stimulating tasks aligned with personal values and intrinsic curiosity. It involves actively resisting the temptation to mould oneself to external expectations and instead embracing the fluidity and interconnectedness of interests that define a truly satisfying and purpose-driven career.

Purpose is an Ever-Evolving Journey

Through my own turbulent experience, I've learned that finding purpose isn't a fixed destination or a single decision—it’s an ongoing, dynamic journey. It's less about a specific career path and more about continuously aligning my choices with values that feel true and authentic. I've realised the importance of regularly questioning whether my actions and ambitions stem from genuine passion or conditioned expectations. I literally had to make a three line list titled ‘things I like’ to make sure I choose my next elective module in a way that is aligned with my passion and not what is most logical to pursue.

Encountering resistance and doubt isn't a sign of failure; it's an inevitable part of meaningful growth. Each moment of uncertainty I've faced has taught me something profound about adaptability and self-awareness. By embracing the discomfort of change, I've become more resilient and better equipped to navigate life's unpredictability.

Ultimately, true fulfilment is not found in rigid adherence to a chosen identity but in having the courage to evolve beyond it. Understanding this has empowered me to consciously choose pathways that resonate deeply, not merely those that society or past experiences have dictated.

Mini cheat sheet you can use to reflect on where you are:

1. Identify Core Values:
List 3-5 values that define your ideal self outside of professional roles.
(e.g., curiosity, freedom, creativity, connection)

2. Reflect on Alignment:
Examine your current activities—professional and personal. Ask yourself,
"Which of these truly align with my core values, and which are simply socially conditioned?"

3. Challenge Limiting Beliefs:
Write down any recurring narratives or excuses holding you back. Actively question their validity and origin, noting how they might be protecting you from uncomfortable change.

4. Schedule Authentic Activities:
Commit to spending at least 30 minutes each day (or weekly) on tasks that resonate with your true interests, regardless of external validation or practicality.

5. Journal Your Resistance:
Track your emotional reactions, noting when resistance emerges and why. Understanding patterns helps navigate and gradually dismantle barriers to growth.

6. Embrace Fluidity:
Accept that your sense of purpose evolves. Regularly revisit these exercises quarterly or semi-annually to ensure your direction aligns with personal growth.

Let’s rewire together!

References

Acker, S., & Armenti, C. (2004). Sleepless in academia. Gender and Education, 16(1), 3-24.

Ashforth, B. E., & Schinoff, B. S. (2016). Identity under construction: How individuals come to define themselves in organisations. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 3, 111-137.

Draganski, B., et al. (2004). Neuroplasticity: Changes in grey matter induced by training. Nature, 427(6972), 311-312.

Doidge, N. (2007). The brain that changes itself. Penguin.

Dutton, J. E., Roberts, L. M., & Bednar, J. (2010). Pathways for positive identity construction at work. Academy of Management Review, 35(2), 265-293.

Eisenberger, N. I. (2012). The pain of social disconnection. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(6), 421-434.

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford University Press.

Kahneman, D., Knetsch, J. L., & Thaler, R. H. (1991). Anomalies: The endowment effect, loss aversion, and status quo bias. Journal of Economic Perspectives, 5(1), 193-206.

Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2016). Latent burnout profiles: A new approach to understanding burnout experience. Burnout Research, 3(4), 89-100.

Samuelson, W., & Zeckhauser, R. (1988). Status quo bias in decision making. Journal of Risk and Uncertainty, 1(1), 7-59.

Utevsky, A. V., Smith, D. V., & Huettel, S. A. (2014). Precuneus activity during reward anticipation. Neuroimage, 97, 1-10.