Sharpen or Shatter: The two paths of discomfort
Discomfort is a paradox. It can be the force that strengthens us or the weight that breaks us. We hear it everywhere—“push yourself,” “step out of your comfort zone,” “discomfort is where growth happens.” But when does discomfort fuel evolution, and when does it erode our well-being? When is a workout just hard enough to build resilience, and when does it cross into joint-damaging strain? When is workplace challenge a driver for mastery, and when is it a path to burnout?
**The discomfort—**even the wrong type—tempts fate enough to place you on the right wave, eventually at least.
As I have mentioned, uncomfortable change and growth are both mental and spiritual. I wanted to dig deeper into understanding the difference between discomfort that encourages growth and discomfort that hinders it, and how it is possible to distinguish between the two.
While on paper this process seems straightforward, when I reflect back on my early years of studying and working, discomfort was expected; however, I lacked the discernment to know whether my desire for growth was externally driven or truly necessary for me.
Now, the distinction is becoming clearer, but to be perfectly honest, even today I remain sceptical of certain ‘discomforts’ and whether they are beneficial. I am an advocate of enjoying life and doing whatever pleases you as long as you are not encroaching on others, so identifying the right amount of discomfort remains a challenge.
In this post, I will analyse the literature and describe ways in which you can establish your own optimal discomfort dosage.
Stress, Epigenetics, and Lasting Impact
Beyond immediate brain activity, chronic stress can imprint itself on our genes through epigenetic changes. Epigenetics refers to modifications in gene expression (such as DNA methylation) that do not alter the DNA sequence but can turn genes “on” or “off” in response to the environment. Think of it as the body recording the environment’s impact at a cellular level.
Research on stress hormones has shown that long-term exposure to stress can alter gene regulation in the brain (NIH, 2020). One study found that weeks of high cortisol exposure in mice led to increased anxiety behaviours and changes in genes related to the stress response. Specifically, the Fkbp5 gene, which is linked to PTSD and mood disorders in humans, showed reduced methylation, leading to higher expression (Potash & Wand, 2010). This suggests that chronic stress might not just impact mood but could biologically predispose individuals to anxiety and depression.
The problem? In evolutionary contexts—like escaping predators—these stress adaptations helped survival. But in modern settings, where stress is constant and lacks an outlet, these biological changes become maladaptive. Over time, this wear-and-tear leads to allostatic load—the cumulative damage stress inflicts on the body (McEwen, 1998). Prolonged toxic stress isn’t just an emotional state; it literally reshapes mind and body in harmful ways.
Eustress vs. Distress: Not All Stress Is Equal
Psychologist Hans Selye distinguished between eustress (beneficial stress) and distress (harmful stress).
Eustress: The energising push before a deadline or a workout that builds endurance.
Distress: The unrelenting pressure that overwhelms resources, leading to breakdown.
The Yerkes-Dodson law reinforces this: there’s an optimal stress level for performance, beyond which efficiency drops (Diamond, 2007). Workplace studies call this the challenge-hindrance model:
Challenge stressors (e.g., learning new skills, handling high-responsibility projects) promote growth.
Hindrance stressors (e.g., toxic managers, endless red tape) only create frustration.
The key? Recognising when stress is fueling development versus when it’s corroding well-being.
Resilience, Adaptation, and Antifragility
Why do some thrive under stress while others crumble? Enter resilience—the ability to recover from adversity. Research confirms that high-resilience individuals experience fewer negative effects from stress and are less likely to burn out (Koral & Seldman, 2018). But beyond resilience, there’s antifragility—a concept coined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Unlike resilience (bouncing back), antifragile individuals grow stronger from stressors (Taleb, 2012).
This aligns with post-traumatic growth—where individuals emerge from challenges with greater insight, adaptability, and strength. However, there’s a breaking point—too much stress can still cause long-term damage.
The Wisdom of Discomfort: Zen and Theravāda Buddhism
Buddhism offers profound insights on discomfort:
The Two Arrows: The first arrow is inevitable pain. The second arrow is the suffering we add through resistance. Workplace discomfort is often unavoidable—but we choose how much suffering we layer on.
The Middle Way: Balance is key. Not too tight, not too loose. Overworking until breakdown isn’t growth—it’s self-destruction.
Leaning Into Discomfort: Zen teaches that instead of fleeing discomfort, sit with it. Observe it. Let it inform you without consuming you.
Impermanence: Discomfort, like all things, is temporary. Instead of fearing it, acknowledge its transient nature.
Non-Attachment: Identifying too strongly with struggle can lead to self-imposed suffering. Discomfort is a visitor, not a permanent resident.
Knowing When It’s Time for Change
Not every struggle is necessary. Not every discomfort is real – answer these questions truthfully and you may be surprised:
Does this stress lead to growth, or am I stagnating?
Am I stretching, or am I breaking?
Do I see progress, or am I spiraling into exhaustion?
Is my stress aligned with my values, or is it violating them?
Am I following a path that was prescribed to me—by society, my family, or my close circle? Or is this truly my own choice?
Tomorrow, we explore resistance—not the kind that holds you back, but the kind that propels you forward. How do you know when to push through, and when to step back?
Will also touch upon one of the biggest mental traps – the Imposter Syndrome- Stay tuned.
Your Turn: What Are You Facing?
Drop a comment or journal on this:
What discomfort are you experiencing right now, and where do you think it falls on the spectrum?
Are you growing, breaking, or somewhere in between?
Let’s Rewire!
References
Diamond, D. M. (2007). Cognitive, endocrine and mechanistic perspectives on nonlinear relationships between arousal and brain function. Nonlinearity in Biology, Toxicology, and Medicine, 3(1), 1–7. https://doi.org/10.2203/dmt07-001
Koral, J., & Seldman, M. (2018). The positive effect of resilience on stress and business outcomes in difficult work environments. Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 60(1), 15–20. https://doi.org/10.1097/JOM.0000000000001198
McEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/nejm199801153380307
National Institutes of Health (NIH). (2020). Stress hormone causes epigenetic changes. NIH Research Matters. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/stress-hormone-causes-epigenetic-changes
Potash, J. B., & Wand, G. S. (2010). Stress hormone causes epigenetic changes. Endocrinology, 151(10), 4514–4523. https://doi.org/10.1210/en.2010-0526
Selye, H. (1974). Stress without distress. J. B. Lippincott.
Taleb, N. N. (2012). Antifragile: Things that gain from disorder. Random House.
