You’re Not an Impostor. You’re in the Wrong Room
For much of my life, I felt like an outcast—like I didn’t belong. From nursery school, I have vivid memories of being the odd one out. Impostor syndrome, however, does not manifest in the same way in a neurodivergent brain. Neurodivergent individuals often experience impostor feelings due to societal pressures to conform, leading to masking behaviours and self-doubt (Myszak, 2023). I didn’t sit there thinking, I don’t deserve to be here; I just constantly thought there was something wrong with me. Years of misdiagnosis only reinforced this sense of being just a weirdo.
While I’m grateful that my parents encouraged my differences, I remember purposefully trying to behave “normal.” Not because I wanted to fit in, but because, as an introvert, I didn’t want to explain myself to others. Impostor syndrome is not just an individual experience—it’s a cultural force. It keeps people in cycles of doubt, over-explaining, and overworking to justify their worth.
I see impostor syndrome like the God of Many Faces (apologies for the Game of Thrones reference). It takes on multiple identities to trick us into staying in negative discomfort because it’s safe. And we know why, right? The brain craves familiarity over progress—it would rather keep you uncomfortably comfortable than risk uncertainty. So in this metaphor, impostor syndrome isn’t some all-powerful force—it’s the jester of many faces, the brain’s pawn in the game of self-doubt.
The best antidote? Treat it like the jester it is—laugh at it. And if the joke is bad? Well… off with its head! (again apologies for the Alice in Wonderland reference). But all humour aside, impostor syndrome isn’t going anywhere—it may get quieter in the corners of your mind, or it may take shape as the army of jesters that is societal expectation.
The only way to cut the puppet strings? Be true to your values. Know what is worth your time and what is not. Learn when to discard information and when to listen.
Building on yesterday's Sharpen or Shatter discussion, this post will help you recognise the signals of impostor syndrome, differentiate between discomfort that fosters growth and discomfort that signals misalignment, and implement practical strategies to reclaim self-trust.
Is This Fear Helping You or Holding You Back?
Resistance is often misunderstood—it’s not inherently negative. Instead, it’s an internal signal that requires interpretation. Here’s how to differentiate the two types:
Two Types of Resistance:
Growth Resistance: The discomfort that comes when you’re stepping into new territory, developing a skill, or pushing past self-imposed limitations.
Example: Public speaking anxiety before a big presentation—it’s uncomfortable, but it signals expansion.
Misalignment Resistance: The unease you feel when something is fundamentally wrong—whether it’s ethical, energetic, or simply not right for you.
Example: A gut feeling of dread when taking on a project that goes against your values or well-being.
Guidance – Using Resistance as a Guide
For neurodivergent individuals, resistance can be tricky to interpret. Is it discomfort from stretching into growth, or exhaustion from masking and existing in an unaccommodating environment? Before assuming you need to “push through,” check: Am I growing, or am I just surviving?
Pause and Identify the Source: Ask yourself: Is this fear or intuition? Growth discomfort often eases with exposure, while misalignment discomfort intensifies over time.
Look for Patterns: Do you feel resistance only before high-pressure moments (suggesting growth) or consistently in certain environments (suggesting misalignment)?
Test Small Actions: Take a small step forward. If the resistance reduces, it’s likely growth. If it worsens, reconsider.
I remember hesitating before posting my first research-heavy content online. It felt exposing, like I had to prove I was “legit.” But once I did it, I realised that the resistance wasn’t telling me to stop—it was just fear of stepping into something bigger.
Impostor Syndrome Isn’t Just in Your Head—It’s in Your Environment
Impostor syndrome is often framed as a personal failing, but what if it’s actually an environmental and cultural phenomenon? Recent research suggests that impostor syndrome is often a reaction to external validation gaps, unrealistic standards, or systemic biases (Mak et al., 2023).
For example, a 2023 study of nursing students found that impostor syndrome was significantly linked to perfectionism, lack of mentorship, and highly competitive environments (Mak et al., 2023). Similarly, a systematic review noted that workplace culture and leadership styles play a crucial role in reinforcing self-doubt (Bravata et al., 2020).
You’re Not the Fraud—You’re Just in the Wrong Room.
For neurodivergent individuals, impostor syndrome isn’t just about self-doubt—it’s often a learned response from years of being told their way of thinking was “wrong.” This makes it even more important to build self-trust rather than relying on external approval.
Instead of assuming “I need more confidence”, consider:
Am I trying to prove myself in an environment that constantly undermines me?
Am I surrounded by people who recognise and affirm my strengths?
Am I chasing validation from a system that benefits from my self-doubt?
How to Stop Playing Small and Start Owning Your Success.
Define Success on Your Terms: Identify what matters to you rather than relying on external approval.
Build a ‘Confidence Portfolio’: Keep a record of accomplishments, positive feedback, and wins—evidence that counters impostor thoughts.
Seek Out Supportive Circles: Mentorship and like-minded peers can buffer against impostor feelings (Mak et al., 2023).
Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Challenge impostor thoughts with facts—What objective proof do I have that I belong here?
Change Your Environment If Necessary: Sometimes, impostor syndrome means you’re playing by someone else’s game instead of building your own.
There was a time I accepted a role that looked perfect on paper but felt wrong in my gut. At first, I brushed it off as “just anxiety,” but over time, I realised the discomfort wasn’t fading—it was growing. That was misalignment, not growth. It took me too long to walk away, but now I trust those signals much faster.
By shifting focus from external validation to personal alignment, impostor syndrome becomes an occasional visitor rather than a permanent resident. Authenticity is the antidote—when you define success for yourself, there’s no fraud to expose.
You Don’t Need More Confidence—You Need the Right Strategy.
To summarise:
Differentiate Resistance: Learn to recognise whether discomfort is pushing you forward or warning you to step back.
Rethink Impostor Syndrome: Instead of trying to “overcome” it, ask if it’s an external mismatch rather than an internal flaw.
Curate Your Environment: If the system benefits from your self-doubt, stop playing the game.
Embrace Authenticity: The jester of impostor syndrome only has power if you keep entertaining it. Laugh at it, call its bluff, and move forward.
The key to mental and spiritual growth isn’t eliminating discomfort—it’s interpreting and using it wisely. The more you engage with this framework, the clearer your signals become.
Tomorrow, I’m getting a bit woo-woo—I’ll be diving into the spiritual practices that can support everything we explored today. From energy work to meditation, we’ll explore how to achieve alignment by integrating multiple approaches. If you’ve ever felt like therapy alone isn’t enough, this one’s for you!
Have you ever mistaken misalignment for growth? What did it feel like? Drop your experience in the comments—I’d love to hear!
Let’s rewire!
References:
Bravata, D. M., Watts, S. A., Keefer, A. L., Madhusudhan, D. K., Taylor, K. T., Clark, D. M., Nelson, R. S., & Hagg, H. K. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of impostor syndrome: A systematic review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 35(4), 1252-1275. https://doi.org/xxxxx
Mak, V. W., et al. (2023). Investigating the association between resilience and impostor syndrome in undergraduate students. Journal of Educational Psychology, 115(1), 45-61. https://doi.org/xxxxx
Myszak, M. (2023). Why neurodivergent women struggle with impostor feelings. Psychology Today. https://doi.org/xxxxx
Tang, Y. Y., Hölzel, B. K., & Posner, M. I. (2015). The neuroscience of mindfulness meditation. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 16(4), 213-225. https://doi.org/xxxxx
